A few weeks ago, I started running regularly again. I started out with about 15-20 minutes, because I didn’t want to overdo it and get injured. It was hard…really hard. I got very discouraged, because I thought “If I can’t run for 15 minutes without wanting to quit, how will I ever run a half marathon again?” I kept pushing forward, gradually increasing the time, but it wasn’t really getting any easier. I really thought about giving up. I told myself that maybe that amazing race weekend was a once in a lifetime experience. It was just a moment in time I would have to remember fondly, but never experience again. I tried to tell myself that would be okay, but the truth was that it broke my heart.
I kept pushing through, refusing to accept that my first half marathon would be my last. A little over a week ago, something happened. I finished a training run and while it was still difficult, it felt good. Really good. It felt like I was on my way back. For the first time in months, I actually felt like I can do this. I can find my way back!
I decided at the last minute to register for a 5K that I had been considering running for several months. This was the same race I ran last year, after completing a month-long road trip during which I ran twice. Results were not good. If I recall, it took me nearly an hour to finish. My mom was there again this year as official cheerleader/photographer/stuff holder. I told her not to start worrying about me until after the one hour mark. Since I was even more out of practice than I had been last year, I did not have high hopes. It was a pretty hot day, and I expected that to make things more difficult as well. I crossed the starting line, and made my way through some narrow spots. Soon, I found my rhythm. It was hot and it wasn’t pretty, but it was amazing. I felt like me again. Surprisingly, I finished in 40 minutes! This is only about 5 minutes slower than my PR!
I don’t expect this to be an easy road, by any means. I do expect that I will get there. I will get back to the girl who finished that half marathon a few months ago. Who knows? Maybe I will even pass her.