“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11
Though I have always believed this, I haven’t been the best about practicing it. I know God has a plan. Always have. I just always took it upon myself to worry (sometimes constantly) about what that plan was, and whether I would be able to handle the outcome. The thing is…God already knows the end. He already knows you can handle the outcome. Not only can you handle it, but you will come out the other side stronger. You will come out the other side closer to the person He wants you to be. I used to think I knew who I was. I was the quiet one. I was the fat girl. I liked to eat and I didn’t like to move. This is why I failed so many times at losing weight. Being fit just wasn’t who I was. At least that’s what I thought.
I am so grateful that God knows more than I do. He knows who I really am, even when I don’t. These past several months, He has been revealing it to me. I am a healthy person. I enjoy being active and eating healthy food. I not only love doing all of those things, I love talking about them! My comfort zone was always to hide…to stay invisible. If no one noticed me, and if I never talked about it, no one would know I was fat. It would be my little secret. God has been pushing me so far out of my comfort zone with this new life. He is making me realize that with Him, I am capable of more than I ever thought possible. I can be strong. I can be brave. I can be anything.
When you have spent the majority of your life overweight, you tend to look back at your life with anger and frustration. “Why did I do this to myself? How did I let it get this far? I wasted so much time.” These are all things I used to say to myself over and over. It was a new way to feel badly about myself. I didn’t feel badly about my body anymore, so I could feel badly about the body I used to have. God taught me something recently….and by recently, I mean today. Do I truly believe that I am becoming the person I was always meant to be? Yes, I do. If I really believe that, I have to accept that the person I used to be was all a part of God’s plan. That girl is a part of me and always will be. Everything I went through, everything I put myself through, has brought me to this day…this very moment. God knew I would get here before I was even born. He knows me through and through. Instead of regretting my past, I will thank God for my past. My past brought me here, to a place I never thought I could go. Truthfully, I never knew it was a place I wanted to go. I am eternally grateful that He did. “For I know the plans I have for you…” Thank you, Lord, for creating beauty from what I thought was a mess. For making me…me.