I feel like I’ve written almost this same blog post so many times over the last couple of years. For one reason or another, I have had to start from zero on my fitness journey many times. I’ve let it get me down and discourage me from sharing, because I felt like I didn’t have enough to give.
This time didn’t seem any different, but once again, God has used a song to speak to me. Music is powerful, and this song is no exception. It played while I was in the gym, starting over for what seems like the millionth time. It’s only been a day or so since I told myself that I probably can’t run another half marathon. “Can’t” is that word I used to hate so much. It’s the word that got me to start running in the first place. I started running because I refused to admit that there was something I couldn’t do, just because I was afraid to try. For so long, I’ve felt like that girl was gone. The girl who never stopped trying, no matter how many obstacles got in her way? I thought she was gone forever. For the first time in a long time, I saw a glimmer of her in me again.
I’ve gotten off track again! The song! It is called, “Keep Getting Up” by Mandisa. The words have been speaking to me for a while, but the person in the song always felt just beyond my grasp. Today, as I got lost in the words, I felt them start to sink in. They actually started to feel possible.
It’s not gravity that tethers us to the ground
What if it’s only doubt and we can somehow shut it out
Get mad and shout, “I won’t stay down”
I still have a lot of work to do, and I know I’ll still have tough days, but today was the start of something. Today, I started to feel like me again. That girl is still in there, fighting. Step by step, day by day, maybe even minute by minute, I’ll get her back. I have to.