Wow. Has it really been a year since I’ve written here? I suppose it has! What a year this has been. Most of it was plagued with injury, which meant I was mostly frustrated. I was in physical therapy for several months. I’m technically “discharged,” but I still have a long road to recovery ahead of me. It seems like I take two steps forward, then one step back. I am getting better, but setbacks have been a regular occurrence. I have gone from being sad to angry to afraid, and back to sad again. I miss running. Most of all, I miss who I am when I’m running.
My running has been a lot like my therapy. I would really get going for a while and then something (an increase in pain, the flu, etc. etc.) would hit and derail me. Then, I’d have to start all over again. Sometimes I’d get back to it and keep progressing for a while. Other times, I just didn’t start again for months. In the last couple of months, I just haven’t been running at all. Today…I ran. I didn’t run far, and I didn’t run fast…but I ran. I lip-synced, I danced (only from the waist up…I was on a treadmill after all), I got sweaty. It was amazing. I cannot remember the last time I had that much fun. I felt alive. I felt like me again. I had forgotten what the runner’s high felt like. It is real and it is awesome.
Since I am starting over again, I think I’m going to try to approach this like a new runner. As someone who has been running for a few years now, I remember being a little jealous of people who were new. There is nothing like the excitement and the sense of accomplishment you feel every time you accomplish a new goal, no matter how small it might be. Now, I have the chance to experience all of those things again, but with the knowledge of a more experienced runner. It might just be the best of both worlds. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but it will be worth it. I am worth it.
When I go back and read what I wrote last year, it looks like I am in exactly the same spot. Sometimes it feels that way too. All I can do is go from here and work every day to get back to who I know I’m meant to be, even in small ways.
We’re on this journey together! Please don’t hesitate to contact me by email, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter if you have questions or just need to talk to someone who understands. Blessings and happy running (or walking or whatever you love) to everyone!
Note: I wrote this last week, and technical difficulties delayed the posting. A few days after I ran, I got sick. It’s another setback, but I’m not giving up!
